I have to admit -- I have not always been what I would call a "civil social conservative."  So passionate was my desire to "win" the "fight" that a few years into my political/ideological/cultural activism I actually thought it was a good -- and, more important, proper -- idea to publish filmmaker/liberal activist Michael Moore's home address in an email newsletter I edited. My reasoning? Moore had resorted to similar tactics in his movies, so all's fair in love and war, right?

The past few years -- in particular the past several months -- have helped me see the error of my ways and, beneath that, my thinking. Michael Moore is not and has never been the enemy. Ditto for Barack Obama, Hillary Clinton, Nancy Pelosi, Harry Reid, et al. As a Christian, I know the real and only true enemy is Satan. Others just disagree, oppose even, my views and policy aims -- perhaps spiritually blinded to the Truth of Scripture, perhaps just disinterested in it.

That is the beginning of civil social conservatism, I think: recognizing the guy advocating for something completely antithetical to what you hold dear is not evil incarnate. That perspective -- the Christian perspective, I would argue -- keeps you from making personal attacks. Calling somebody names. Or publishing their private addresses in an email that goes out to more than 100,000 people.

I know there are those in the liberal camp who think there is nothing "civil" about my views and my advocacy for them in the public square. And I know there are some who share those policy and cultural views who think I've gone soft because I have made a commitment not to engage in name-calling, ridicule and wholesale dismissal of those we consider *the opposition.* But I maintain I can still contend passionately for what I believe without having to think an "Acorn Office" sign on a Port-A-Potty at a tea party protest is worth hanging. It is not compromise on my belief that abortion is wrong to say President Obama seems to be a pretty good Dad. I am not disqualified from calling myself a conservative because I sometimes think the rhetoric coming from some of the leading voices on our side is so strident that it has the opposite effect of winning others to our point of view.

I don't want to fight a culture war anymore. I want to be a cultural change agent. I may fail -- people's views are pretty entrenched these days -- but that doesn't mean I'm not going to try. I want to listen more, lecture less and speak in a way that invites conversation, not conflagration.

I think that's what God expects -- no, demands -- of me. Of all of us.